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who the hell is Johnny Sprocket?

I have been asked, now that he has commented on my blog and so graisouly put me as a link on his blog, who the hell is Johnny Sprocket? Unfortunatly, I met Johnny Sprocket before the advent of the digital camera - hell, even before Al Gore invented the internet. Thus, I have no pictures of the man who calls himself Johny Sprocket. I can only say that at one time I looked up to him as a roll model, a person who lived thier life to the fullest and always accepted a challenge with a bitting sense of humor and the wit of an Irishman (even though he's German). Men wanted to be him and girls wanted to be with him. Unfortunately, as time progressed I fell out of communication with Johnny Sprocket. Judging from his blog he has moved into his responsible adult years with same vitality and humor that characterized his earlier years. Even if you don't know Johnny Sprocket, I encourage you to read his blog as it is quite humorous as well informative.

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a picture is worth a thousand words

                                                                                photo courtesy andy white

Its like shooting fish in a barrel. Sorry Doug

hoopnetting is not a crime

First off, let me say that I am speaking from a not completly informed point of view. After many attempts to call some Ventura Harbor Patrol Officers and get their comment on closing the lobster fishery along the ventura harbor breakwall, I was rebuffed and have yet to hear from them - officially. I can only imagine that that they are fearing for their lives, I can't say I blame them.

Unofficially, I believe a Harbor Patrol officer contacted me, and speaking on condition of ananimity, told me that he believes, and I quote - "Hoopnetting is not Crime". He believes that if this opinion gets out into the public he would be ridiculed at work, and even worse - tortured. I have heard they already put live lobsters in his locker. Oh the humanity.

As you may or may not be aware many people fed their families with those lobsters. Believe me, RUN DMC didn't pay for that hoopnetting outfit hanging drywall. He did it catching Lobzillas. Now hundreds if not thousands of people are going to starve to death because the Ventura Harbor Patrol thinks it is to difficult to control the traffic during the catch, and by the catch I mean the harvest of the langosta. This is adding insult to injury, right when the credit crunch hits us and the sub -prime mortgage industry takes a crap, now I gots to deal with the closure of the west coast's most abundant lobster fishery? How am I and the rest of my lobster catching friends supposed to pay our mortgages, if we have to go out and by lobster every night? How am I going to buy my Adidas Sweatsuitos? Answer me that - Mr. Harbor Patrolman.

I urge you to contact your local harbor patrol and ask them, if not for you than for the children, re-open the fishery!

Viva Langosta

young explorer discovers island off California coast

Renowned explorer Donkey Burrows discovers new island off California coast.  

The fearless explorer braved treacherous seas in a 17ft research vessel to discover what he believed to be a new island about 18 miles off the heavily populated area of Southern California.  You may be asking yourself, "how could this island go undiscovered for so many years?"  As you may or may not be aware,Oxnard, donkey's hometown and closest town to the island is under a constant shroud of fog. Donkey happened to be on the beach, as he is an avid shell and driftwood collector, just as the fog, for a brief moment, lifted.  Donkey remembers seeing something that resembled an island.  He immediately put together his research team and set off on the great adventure.   After a brutal and death defying crossing, in 4-6 foot seas, we came upon this jewel of an island.  The whole time little donkey held on to the roof of the boat for dear life and thank god he did.  As the captain of the research vessel, Fair Dinkum, I don't know what we would have done had Donkey not been up on that roof telling me where to go and what to do.  We may still be lost at sea.   Sure I have radar and GPS, but if there is one thing donkey has taught me -  there is no substitute for a pair of good eyes.  

Upon arrival we discovered a magical place stuck in time.  I am pretty sure once we go on land we will discover that giraffes, elephants, and maybe even some dinosaurs still run wild on that island.  As it turns out Donkey had to be back to work by four, thus, our exploration was cut short.   Our next adventure will be a safari into the island.  To conduct the exploration of the island, Donkey and I have enlisted the help of renowned zoologist Drew Weilbacher.  He is not only a zoologist, but also a big game hunter.  Thus, if we run into any trouble we will have no need to worry.  I have already contacted National Geographic Society and the Monterey Aquarium about some funding for the expedition,  if you know of any other interested parties please don't hesitate to contact me.

what would we do without firefighters

To all those who think firefighters are overpaid or under worked I submit this article as proof that without firefighters our world would be a much more dangerous place to live in.  If firefighters want to take off 45 days in a row than by all means let them.  Sure, they have to work 20 days of overtime in a row and take vacation.  Never mind that while they are gone someone has to work overtime to cover them.  Hell its just money.  Besides, how many firefighters do you know that aren't struggling to make ends meet?  They deserve some time off.   I really enjoy paying taxes, and if it's to save a donkey, than it is worth every dime.

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